I love golf. I love the tradition of golf and the amazing life lessons that the etiquette of the game teaches and reinforces.   The way that golf is set up requires players to keep their own score and to penalize themselves.   And because of this framework, it makes sense that playing golf opens a little window into your personality.  And into the personality of the people you are playing with.  Are they honest? Do they handle pressure well? Are they respectful of their playing partners?

So when I tell people they can play by their own rules, the first question they often ask is…. What does it say to my partners if I choose “play by my own rules”?

Consider these two scenarios.

Player A and Player B are both new to golf.  They know enough to get themselves around the course, but neither are good players.

Player A stands at the first tee, announces that she really isn’t any good, takes a deep breath and whiffs the ball 10 yards.  Apologizing to the group, she runs up to the ball and hits it again.  This time it goes 20 yards.  Flustered, she hurries back to the tee to grab her clubs, and join her foursome, apologizing again and sheepishly talking about how she hates the pressure of hitting off the first tee.  The rest of the round continues with Player A taking every shot, rushing to hit, and trying to keep up with the group.

Player B stands on the first tee, announces that she is new to golf and would like to skip the first tee drive.  She is going to choose the best drive from her group and start to play from there.   They all laugh and the rest of the foursome begins to hit their tee shots.  Player B continues the round, choosing to make her shots from someone else’s ball.  She is not holding up the group struggling on each shot, she is not stressed if her ball goes 10 yards, she simply picks it up and walks to the next shot.

So what does playing golf by your own rules tell people about you?

Own your game and no matter how good or bad a golfer you are, you will earn instant respect from the people you are playing with.  Your decision to play in a way that is respectful shows that you are confident in uncertain or stressful situations, that you are willing to show vulnerability and that you are a team player.

So Stop Apologizing!  No one really cares how well or poorly you play, as long as you keep pace. And if you make their game more enjoyable – they will want to ask you back!

 

Want to know more about finding business success through Golf?  Follow me on Twitter @hititwithfar or check out my private and group lesson offerings.